capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize