you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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