I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
