Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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