Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
