i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
