i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
