There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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