it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
