508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
