Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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