K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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