did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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