Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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