Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
