So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
