she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
