you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
