yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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