Your tits are I can't wait for
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
