My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
