This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Porn is love you can see.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
