my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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