You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
