As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
