I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
