Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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