my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
