can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
