sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
