Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
