I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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