We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
