Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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