Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
