this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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