Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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