Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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