Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
