I think im going to throw up on grandma
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
