Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
