Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
