Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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