Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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