Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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