Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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