I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
