This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
