You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dicks are not precious.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
