Umm I'm too high to move.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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