I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
