i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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